Read Matthew 18: 15 - 20
This is all about restoration of a relationship between believers. I am helped by this note in the New Living Translation Study Bible:
These are Jesus' guidelines for dealing with those who sin against us. They were meant for (1) Christians, not unbelievers, (2) sins committed against you and not others, and (3) conflict resolution in the context of the church, not the community at large. Jesus' words are not a license for a frontal attack on every person who hurts or slights us. They are not a license to start a destructive gossip campaign or to call for a church trial. They are designed to reconcile those who disagree so that all Christians can live in harmony.Remember the parable that precedes this? The lengths to which a shepherd goes to find a lost sheep? Well, it is as if Jesus is now speaking about the lengths we are willing to go to in order to restore a relationship within the community of believers that has been damaged ... due to sin. Ever been there? Wise principles arise from Jesus' words ... principles for us to apply ... when someone "sins against you" ...
- Level 1 - go to the person for conversation about the matter. From the IVP Commentary: "This procedure was standard Jewish custom; the Dead Sea Scrolls, the rabbis and others demand that one begin with private reproof. Publicly shaming someone unnecessarily was considered sinful ..." Don't talk to your friend. Don't talk about the person to anyone who will listen. Don't retaliate by doing something back at her. And don't communicate through email. Go TO the person and talk face-to-face. It takes courage. It takes love. It takes being more concerned about the good for both the other person and for the community of faith than being mostly concerned about personal pride and ego and 'rights'.
- Level 2 - if level 1 fails to restore, move to level 2. Go talk again ... this time take a couple of people with you. This additional presence can serve as 'witnesses' if needed, they can provide clarity, they are testimony to your intense desire to have the matter settled.
- Level 3 - if level 2 fails to restore, move to level 3. Take the situation to the community of faith in which you both function. Through prayer and the wisdom of people of the Word of God, restoration is possible.
That is a lot of work!! Gossip is so much easier. But tie it back to the parable of the lost sheep ... it's worth it. Because restoration to the family is worth it. Reconciliation of broken relationships is worth it. Can you love enough to follow these words from Jesus? Can I? Perhaps stopping right now for some honest conversation with God about this is pertinent. Have you failed in this regard in the past? Is there a situation you are in right now that needs this instruction?
About the "let them be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector" words ... I know what Jesus cannot have meant. He cannot have meant that 'Gentiles and tax collectors' are not worth time and effort and love. To mean that violates everything else Jesus taught. Jesus drew Matthew, the tax collector, into his fold. Jesus drew Zacchaeus, the tax collector, into his fold. So this cannot be an injunction to abandon people. It may be a challenge - a challenge to win even the hardest of hearts through love. Jesus did not find the Gentiles and/or the tax collectors hopeless - neither must we.
Is there a Level 4? I think Level 4 comes in the next set of verses which we will consider tomorrow. Level 4 is moving into the arena of forgiveness. Easy to talk about ... hard to live out. Remember ... the "little ones" and their value ... the effort put into finding the "lost sheep" ... the determination to win back the one who sins against you ... it's all about restoring relationships.
Lord ... help us ...