I must confess to a love/hate relationship with these verses. I find myself wanting to explain them away with cynical comments such as, "Well ... what do you expect. It's the fantasy a mother wants for her son!" Or, "It's the ancient equivalent of the 'super woman' complex."
But today I read them more slowly ... less defensively ... more thoughtfully. And what I find today is this:
There are bookends around her. The first bookend is verses 11 - 12: "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
The other bookend is verse 30: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
All of those verses between the bookends are describing one woman's life - not mine! I can pull principles from them ... but there is no reason for me to become paranoid about the specifics. It's just the details. My details will look different ... they will read different ... they will be different. The principles I see are things such as:
- she takes care of her children and her household
- she makes sure there is food, clothing and linens
- she is not lazy
- she responds to the needs of the poor around her, as she can
- she is wise with what finances she is responsible for
Get your bookends in place ... and the middle is just detail ... the details of your particular life. This woman in Proverbs 31 was truly remarkable ... but not because she was wealthy or smart or well organized. Not because she knew what to do with flax or could stay up all night. She is remarkable to me because her bookends were in place. Are yours? Are mine?
Lord, help me today to honor my husband. To bring him good. I lay down today my tendency to think about what I wish he would do or be. Just me today ... just me with You today. Because I fear You, I will honor him ... through Your Spirit ... I will offer that gift to my spouse this day.
There will be one final post in relationship to our May Project. Beginning June 1 ... we would all love to hear from each other about what you gained from this project. What stood out most in summary? What are you walking away with? How has God touched you through this book? Any wisdom gained? Be thinking ...
Thank you for your words, Gail. This chapter is particularly meaningful to me as we read them together on my 7th wedding anniversary. I pray to be a wife of noble character, one worth far more than rubies, whom my hubby has full confidence in, and who brings him good all the days of his life. (v. 10-12)
ReplyDeleteI love verse 30 as well:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Praise You, Lord!!!
Finally, the words of verse 25 have been particularly on my heart recently. Ever since I read Beth Moore's "So Long Insecurity" book and attended the April simulcast, those words have been in so many of my prayers:
"She is clothed with strength and dignity"
I pray to be clothed in God's strength and His holy dignity every day! To be a woman who fears the Lord and loves Him with her whole heart.
I can see why this is a precious section of scripture for you. Thank you for directing thought to these words ... "noble character and a woman of strength and dignity." Indeed ... my prayer for myself as well.
ReplyDeleteSorry this is late! I thought I would share this comment (by a friend) that came up in our Proverbs discussion. She said:
ReplyDelete"Something that strikes me about this is that we are all worth more than rubies in God's eyes. Perhaps it is not that the virtuous woman is actually worth more than the "non-virtuous" woman, but that she recognizes her true value. Rubies are rare and a woman who knows her self-worth is rare too. So many women confuse a sense of pride with a sense of self-worth. Self-worth is humbly acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses... pushing our strengths to pull up our weaknesses.
It is being what we were created to be, rather than what we want to be. I've always wanted to be a singer, but... I promise, you don't want to hear me sing. I just don't have the gift. So rather than chase a me that doesn't exist, I should use the talents and skills that God has blessed me with. That is my true purpose.
I have to say I fail miserably at this. For some reason I'm always trying to be something I wasn't created to be. I tend to screw it up."
Gail, you have helped us think hard (and from a different perspective) about what behavior and attitudes are really "wise." Thank you for leading this devotional study!
My birth stone is a ruby ... so I particularly love your friend's comments about what makes us rubies and I think she is right on. We do tend to long to be someone we are not. And why is it that the "other" always seems better or smarter or prettier? Let's be ourselves today ... all day long!!
ReplyDeleteMy most recent reading of this chapter reminded me of Ecclesiastes 9:10: "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..." We all know someone who never seems to be in a hurry, yet always has something to do. My grandmother was such a person. She seldom sat down without a book or some piece of mending or handwork in her lap, but it was always something that could be laid aside if one of us needed her. Her daily schedule wasn't dictated by a day-planner, but by whatever happened to be the next thing needing to be done.
ReplyDeleteA couple of musings:
(1) I wonder if this glimpse we have of the Proverbs 31 woman is cumulative? It seems we are looking back over her shoulder at all the things she has done, maybe not all at once, but over the course of the last 30 or 40 years.
(2) There is a delicate balance (which I have trouble maintaining) between being task-oriented and being alert/aware enough to respond to people when they need us. This woman seems to have it perfected to an art form, which again makes me think it's later in her life. Maybe she wasn't so good at it when she first began, but she kept doing whatever needed to be done -- because it needed to be done -- and eventually it could be said of her that she did these things well. Very well.
We don't see the same things in ourselves that others see. To me, my life often looks like an inconsequential string of dribs and drabs, boring little chores like pulling weeds or washing dishes or sewing a button on a suit jacket... or if we want to include something really out-of-the-ordinary, maybe learning how to apply wallpaper because I can't afford to hire it done. Not terribly exciting. I wonder if this woman might have seen her life, her daily activities, through a similar lens? And yet... look what is said about her track record!
Doing the next thing... whatever my hand finds to do, if I do it faithfully, can become remarkable in the aggregate. That needs to be my focus!